13 Things

I'm still trying to wrap words around our decision not to celebrate Halloween. I want to make sure we're really doing this on purpose, not just because it's the thing to do--either way. I read this list recently in Reader's Digest and it helped:

13 Things Your Trick-or-Treater Won't Tell You
This Halloween, we turned to the experts (kids!) to give us the scoop on how to score the most candy while trick-or-treating and more.
By Phillip Done, from Close Encounters of the Third-Grade Kind: Thoughts on Teacherhood
1. Old people are either very generous or give you one peanut. There is no in-between.
2. The cuter our costumes, the more candy we get.
3. Good loot: Tootsie Rolls, Kit Kats, Nerds, Twizzlers, Jolly Ranchers, Starbursts, Skittles, Snickers, and Whoppers. Bad loot: toothbrushes.
4. Pillowcases hold twice as much as plastic grocery bags and three times as much as plastic orange pumpkins.
5. Don’t get stuck behind little kids at the door. They take forever to decide.
6. Handing out candy is like serving wine at a party. People serve the good stuff first and save the not-so-good stuff for later. The longer you stay out on Halloween night, the worse the candy gets.
7. Lots of decorations in the front yard means good candy. They spend a lot on Halloween.
8. If a group of children gathers at the door, sometimes it's best to be in the front so you won't have to wait and can run immediately to the next house. But sometimes it’s better to be the last one: You might get two pieces of candy for being patient.
9. It's always better to choose your candy than to have someone else choose it for you.
10. When parents chaperone, moms say "Be careful" and "Remember your manners." Dads say "Wha'd ya get?"
11. Know your shortcuts. Slide through hedges. Jump over gutters. Dodge strollers. And run, do not walk.
12. Dads stay out later than moms.
13. Do not show your teacher what you have in your lunch bag the day after Halloween. Otherwise, he might point to his "Official Halloween Candy Taste Tester" button and ask for all your Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

A surface read might cause a chuckle or smile. After all, these are meant to be cute kid quotes, right? But these statements are symptomatic of the hearts these kids are growing into. I just don't see any values here that line up with the marching orders that came from my King. That makes it a little easier to define some of the blurry edges.