It Could Happen to You

God likes to humble me. That's one of the many reasons He blessed me with children. I have a tendency to stare blankly with my head cocked to one side when I hear mothers describe crazy things their kids do. Your son put a rock in his ear? What made him do that? Why would your daughter use lipstick to paint her wall? This sort of nonsense doesn't happen at my house. Your toddler took her dirty diaper off and carried poop around the house?! Where were you while this was going on?

Well, to be perfectly honest, I was reading a rather intriguing blog post about how guilty I should feel for using antibacterial soap (is any commercially-available product guilt-free and safe for consumption these days?). And in my defense, I'm fighting a sinus infection, so my brain is a little fuzzier than usual. So when C walked in to the kitchen this morning to put something in the trash, I was glad she announced it so that I could check to make sure that it really was trash before she threw it in. Why, yes dear, the trash can is a good place to deposit the poop from your diaper. What the heck?!!

And yes, she was walking around in nothing but a diaper so she had easy access. When I went to get her out of her crib this morning, she had super-soaked her diaper and I had to strip her down immediately, then change the sheet. I decided to wait until after breakfast to put play clothes on her. I thought I was saving myself some laundry. She has never before indicated an interest in taking her diaper off, although she has randomly landed on the tabs and pulled them open when I'm changing her. So I should have known she was capable.

I guess while I was engrossed in my blog, she did her business and decided to investigate. I'm soooo glad she made a bee line for the trash can. The mess stayed contained in the diaper and on her person. I whisked her off to the bathtub and hosed her down, making good use of a disposable washcloth sample I found in the cabinet. Once clean and dry, I locked her down in a onesie and a pair of overalls for good measure.

While she was in the bathtub, she begged to rescue the bathtub baby hanging from the shower hose to dry. I gave it a good squeeze to confirm it was dry and handed it over. She likes to feed her baby dolls whatever she is eating in her high chair, so I buckled her and the baby doll in and gave her a waffle. When I came back to her with a juice cup a few minutes later, her tray was full of water, she was soaking wet and a small pond was forming on the floor. Apparently the baby doll was not dry and more importantly, it's secret identity is a ShamWow!

So to recap, before my breakfast this morning, I stripped a urine-soaked baby and bed, washed a poopy baby, and mopped stale bath water off part of my kitchen floor. Don't laugh...it could happen to you. Or it already has and I laughed. And for that I am truly sorry and humbled. Next time, we'll laugh together.