Into the Cave

I feel myself slowly sneaking into the cave that is mommy-of-newborn.  The last few days of cool weather have brought a welcome pause to this procession as I've been more comfortable to leave the house or just play with the girls outside.  The heat and humidity is definitely a force that propels me into the isolation of my home.  It's hard to want to go out for much of anything when you just can't get comfortable.

And I'm feeling pretty comfy in my little cave.  I've got things washed and ready for baby, I've got a good grip on school for the fall, I've got some meals in the freezer, I have help lined up.  I feel like we're in as good a place as we can be for this new addition.

Because I'm feeling comfortable with the condition of my cave, I'm hoping I'll be able to relax and really relish the days ahead.  I need to be sitting more than standing these days and that should be of great benefit to my girls.  I can read with them more, play games with them, color with them, etc.  Hopefully I can fill them up with some quality mommy time before I get snatched away by baby.  And then I hope to be able to take those newborn days for what they are and let life happen for a month or two, knowing that I planned to concentrate on my kids during this time rather than feeling pressure to do other things.

Just typing that makes me squirm a little.  I don't do "unstructured" very well and I thrive when my to-do list is long and looming.  But I want to make this a special time, a relaxed time, an easy time for my family, not a nightmare.  I want to enjoy the cave this time and all it has to offer.  I know that will make the sunshine even more spectacular when we emerge as a family of five.

Nesting

Some expectant mommies feather their nest by painting the nursery, sewing bedding, picking out clothes.  Me?  I buy shelves and organize!

Don't get me started on the saga that is the mismatched IKEA shelves.  Apparently, holding out to buy the same piece from the same line at the same store doesn't do you any good if you wait too long.  They no longer offer that color, size or door style.  I was absolutely disgusted.  You cannot begin to imagine how much the lack of symmetry bothers me if I open the door to that obsession.  So I hid the new shelf in the corner as best I could and filled it up.

I'm planning to do school in the dining room next year, so now all of our school resources are in one place.  I did such a good job of purging the shelves that I even ended up with room to grow.  All of our art supplies are here, too, and I've got the table covered with a cheap clear, vinyl tablecloth so it is ready to go when they want to grab a bucket of supplies and some paper and create.  It's fun that both girls are at an age where I can trust them with this now (at least at the table).

I covered some diaper boxes in fabric and filled them with board books on the lower shelves for little hands to grab easily.  In theory, our littlest will understand the concept of "no" and "don't eat the books" by the time he can reach the third shelf.  My two lower cabinets have locks on them that A can operate by herself and that's where I'm going to put her school workboxes.  More on that later, but I'm super excited about this method of organizing our assignments.

What you don't see is the extra purging of toys and books I had to do in C's room so that I could move some of our grown-up books onto the high shelves in there.  This has been a process, y'all.  I still need to reclaim some wall space in the dining room for hanging art work, maps and posters.  That will be a gradual migration of our current decor to the living room, I think.  Then some major wall patching since we have some shelves anchored to the wall.  That's probably why I haven't started with that yet.  All in good time.

For now, I'm quite pleased with the results and trying to restrain myself from breaking into the school goodies too soon.  We've already enjoyed the ease of doing art at the big table with supplies at arm's reach.  And they can help clean up, too.  Isn't it a cozy, particle-board nest?

35 Weeks

We're in the final month of this pregnancy and I could not be more thrilled!  Had another check-up this morning and everything looks healthy and normal.  I've been feeling every little stretch and pop of my bones and muscles and complained about the pain to my doc, but she was not nearly as impressed by my symptoms as I was hoping she would be.  Guess I'm more of a wimp than I thought and I need to just suck it up for a few more weeks.  I told J this summation of my appointment and he wisely said that he wasn't going to be the one to tell me that.

We took the girls for a sibling tour of the hospital last night.  I was really impressed by the way the hospital structured this introduction for soon-to-be big brothers and sisters.  We got to see the rooms, the nursery, the waiting areas.  More importantly, they got to push the buttons on the bed to make it go up and down, blow up latex gloves like balloons, and bring home sample bottles and diapers for their baby dolls.  We are all getting really excited to meet our little brother.

Holding Steady

I had another doctor's appointment yesterday morning and she was eager to experiment with a new ultrasound machine, so she asked if I had time for her to play around.  Of course!  It's always reassuring to get a peek at baby and make sure everything is going well.  And it is!

Judging by the machine's measurements, he's just a smidge over 4 lbs. right now and on track to be an average-size newborn around 6-7 lbs.  Due date still seems to be holding for the first week of June.  And yes, it's definitely a boy.

Best news was that the amniotic fluid levels are well within the normal range.  Normal is between 5 and 20 (cc's, I think) and I was measuring just under 14.  Concern goes up if it drops below 10, so I feel like I don't really have any margin for missing a glass of water each day.  If being diligent only keeps me at 14 and not closer to 17 or 18, then I don't want to slack off any time soon.

Tomorrow marks week 31...6-9 more weeks to go!  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....

Reinforcements Have Arrived!

Ladies and gentlemen, the cavalry has arrived and they are well-trained, eager and equipped to fight side-by-side against a mommy's greatest enemies--whiny children and sticky floors.  They are....the Mommy's Helpers.

I first heard about these legendary heroes from a friend who endured bed rest during her last pregnancy and was saved by a mommy's helper.  I started calling (well, e-mailing) around about a month ago when I was feeling so overwhelmed and stuck, not knowing that a great deal of that was probably the anemia.  Nevertheless, I found help and I'm not giving it up just because I'm on an iron supplement.

I was thrilled to be introduced to two young sisters who were eager to get some babysitting experience under their belts.  They are going to come once a week for three hours just to hang out with my girls while I am home and give me a little time to concentrate on tasks I need to get done.  Can I get a hallelujah?

Another mom I talked to said that her girls would also be willing to do this, but their schedule wasn't quite as good of a match with ours.  Oh, their mom says, maybe they could come and help you clean or cook?  Oh?!  Is this an option?!  Bring on the sisters who clean and cook!  Let's have another hallelujah!

We've had the blessing of these four girls for one week now and I am so, so grateful!  Of course, they are getting paid.  But the rate is reasonable enough to allow me to add them to our weekly schedule.  And can I say how impressed I am already?  I really need to be rubbing elbows with these girls' mothers because, wow!  What do I need to be doing so that my girls are that polite, respectful, responsible, servant-hearted, and self-directed by their early teens?  Teach me, o wise ones!!

Fatigue, Irritability, Dizziness...oh my!

So I never really said how my glucose screening went at last month's appointment.  As suspected, my glucose levels were fine, but I was surprised to hear that I was slightly anemic.  "Nothing to worry about," I'm told, "just try to eat a little more beef and dark, leafy greens."  Okay, I'll see what I can do...neither of those are big staples in my routine diet.

Within a week of that news, I almost blacked out twice.  This is not new for me; I'm well-versed in the art of fainting.  I didn't think much of it the first time, but the second time I almost passed out in my sleep.  How bizarre is that?!  Since I've fainted so often before, I feel like my brain is pretty clued-in to the sequence that leads to total unconsciousness and I can usually short-circuit it before I'm out cold on the floor.  So I woke myself up when I started feeling the little black fuzzies coming on, and it really weirded me out because there isn't a lot you can do to relax when you're already asleep!  And it felt like it would happen again if I went back to sleep.  Of course, middle of the night wreaks havoc on your rational thought, so I eventually got up and cuddled with Google to try to talk some sense into myself.  Because Google always speaks truth and wisdom, right?

That's when I learned that fainting and dizziness are common symptoms of anemia.  Guess what else?  Irritability.  Haven't had any of that around here lately.  Ha!  I knew about the fatigue and weakness, but I didn't realize the other symptoms I had been experiencing were all tied to anemia--shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, numbness/tingling in toes or fingers, and headaches.  Boy, if these symptoms could all be cleared up with a supplement, it would certainly make the next 12 weeks more bearable!

So I started on an iron supplement.  I've been taking it for just over a week now.  J asked if I could tell any difference, and I can't say that I feel any more rested.  But that may be because a certain someone has really hijacked naps lately.  But I've definitely cut back on the tylenol for headaches; I can say that for sure.  I don't think my family would be able to answer nicely about the irritability.  The great google says it can take 2-3 months to replenish depleted iron stores, so at least I should be back up to normal in time for delivery.  And hopefully, I will continue to see some of the other symptoms improve as it builds back up in my system.

I hit 29 weeks today.  If all goes well, then 11 more weeks to go.  If all the water consumption doesn't translate to better amniotic fluid levels, then it may be only 8 weeks.  Father God, I know I've been really whiny lately about this pregnancy, but could You please protect me from any new symptoms for the duration of this trimester?  By Your grace, I'll endure what I've already got; but I don't like to think about who I'll be if another new thing crops up.  Please keep baby and me healthy and strong till we can meet each other.  Thank you for the miracle that keeps kicking me in the gut.  Amen.

What's My Motivation?

Yes, I know, it's been a month since I posted anything.  No, I don't have a good reason.  Some fun things have happened, some interesting things, some everyday things.  But I just haven't felt like posting.  I haven't felt like doing much of anything.  I'm sort of dragging myself through the days lately, trying to put one foot in front of another.

I don't have a good reason for feeling so melancholy.  I'm really blessed.  But the discomforts of being six months pregnant have sort of become a burr in my saddle and my attitude has gone sour.  My poor daughters get the brunt of my exasperation.  I have zero tolerance for whining, complaining and not doing what needs to be done even though that's all I want to do...whine, complain, and procrastinate.

Not sure if it's hormones, spiritual attack, or just physical, but I really need it to stop.  I've asked several folks to pray that this cloud would be lifted and I could face the next three months with joy and grace.  I know prayer can accomplish much, so I'm pinning my hopes on that.

It's That Time Again

Beware!  Or be joyful.  The wonderful little thin mint fairies knocked on my door this past weekend, selling their deliciously addictive wafers.  And I for one am joyful!  Nothing quite like a refrigerated box of thin mints to keep a pregnant mommy's sanity from inching too close to the point of no return.  Thank you, cookie fairies.  Come again soon!

It's a Boy!!

Looks like I'll be taking suggestions for a new blog title.  We're adding a blue arrow to this crazy train.

We found out this morning and could barely believe it.  But pictures don't lie and this baby definitely has outdoor plumbing.

As soon as we were done with the ultrasound, J and I went over to Target to pick out a little boy outfit.  I suggested maybe a little toy, too, to show our girls.  He knew immediately which little action figures he wanted to start collecting.  Never mind that it will be three years until the baby is playing with them..."by that time, we'll have the whole set," he said.

C still doesn't really understand what's going on, but A was thrilled.  She had decided awhile back that a baby brother would be fun since we already had a sister.

God is good, all the time!

Why don't they tell you?

Lots of sources will tell you how much it costs to have a baby and raise that baby.  But nobody ever tells you how to budget for pregnancy.  Of course, there's the doctor bills and related medical expenses.  But I'm talking about the stuff that sneaks up on you.

Your grocery budget is blown because things sound good in the store but then repulse you when you get home.  Or, you feel nauseous and can't cook what you planned to cook so your menu plan goes out the window and you've got to go to the store yet again.  Or, you buy lots of expensive, pre-packaged foods to have on hand for days when you don't feel good.  Or--the more likely scenario--you call your husband and ask him to bring supper home which plays havoc with your discretionary funds.  And for some reason, none of the cheap restaurants sound good.  No, you're going to crave Outback and Carino's without fail.  

And what about all the latest remedies you try to make your tummy feel better?  Not free.  Or the assortment of prenatal vitamins you go through to find one that doesn't turn your stomach.

Then there's the utility bill.  Nobody tells you that your a/c bill is going to go through the roof in February because you already feel like the house is a sauna.  Better double your utility budget during pregnancy.

There might also be a few other incidental late fees or fines you have to pay because you can't remember what day of the week it is, much less when the library books or movies are due.  Maybe.  

None of this is escapable or avoidable.  You can try to plan ahead, but sometimes your body is going to dictate how the day goes.  You either pay with your wallet or your comfort.  I generally err on the side of feeling good and figuring out how to pay for it later.

Dream On

Pregnancy does crazy things to your dreams.  Really vivid, detailed dreams that you can almost feel.  The only thing that separates them from reality is the absolute nonsense mixed in.  Where does the mind find these loose ends to tie together?  A recent sampling...

I was at church and the service was wrapping up.  I was a little concerned because I had asked the nursery to text me when the baby was ready to eat and they hadn't sent me a message yet.  When I arrived to pick up the baby, I took it in my arms cooing, "My goodness, you must be starving!"  I sat in one of the rocking chairs and proceeded to nurse my newborn kitten.  Yep, I dreamed my baby was a cat.  Even crazier?  The volunteers in the nursery thought it was perfectly normal.

Another night, I dreamed I was working at huge, global corporation for a man who was a less-than-ideal boss in real life years ago.  He decided we needed to have a company-wide celebration for something or other at the end of the week.  I was in charge of pulling together a global conference in the span of days.  The crazy part?  I sang in a gospel trio as part of the opening ceremonies.  You didn't see it, so you'll have to take my word for it....bizarro!

Then there was the dream that was obviously trying to tell me something.  I was trapped in a labyrinth ladies' locker room.  The door led immediately into a bathroom stall, but of course you never pick the first one, so I kept going.  The stalls were all linked together like a torturous maze.  Some of them were toilet stalls, some showers and some changing rooms.  You never knew who you'd walk in on.  Some of them had more than one door---aaaahhh, choices!  I just wanted to find a bathroom with a little privacy! Even crazier?  Every one I walked in on thought this was a perfectly normal way to conduct business.

This is the way God eases you into the year (or more) of sleep deprivation that accompanies pregnancy and new baby.  Humor always makes discomfort a little easier to swallow, no?

Gross

I'm tired of feeling gross.  I'm officially done with my first trimester, but the gross is lingering.  I can't really say it's morning sickness, just a general gross hanging over part of the day.  Nothing sounds good to eat, but if I don't eat, I'll feel worse.  If I pick the wrong thing to eat, I'll feel worse.  If I do feel gross, I can't think of anything that will make it subside.  I feel like this right now, that's why I'm whining.  I'm just ready to be done with gross.

Three down

I asked my doc if there was anything I could do to prevent the low amniotic fluid toward the end of this pregnancy that has necessitated inducing my previous two pregnancies.  She said about the only thing I had any control over was staying well hydrated.  I asked her for a goal...the usual 64 ounces a day, she said.  I've never been a good water drinker, so I thought I better keep track of it to see how I was doing.

Bad.  I'm doing bad.  Last week, I couldn't get more than 32 oz down in a day without feeling like I was going to puke.  I'm not trying to do it all at once, of course.  But after that fourth glass, I just felt like I could not possibly put more water into my belly.

I'm going for incremental change.  It sounds like such a simple thing, I feel like I should be able to do 8 glasses of water a day.  But for now, I'll be happy if I can consistently do 4.  Next week, I'll aim for 6.  Maybe by my second trimester, I'll be up to 8 glasses a day on more days than not.

I just finished glass 3 for today; one more shouldn't be hard.  Maybe today I can do 5.

What's That Smell?

This week has been a wild ride so far.  Sunday I came home from church feeling really weak and tired.  I went to bed and realized later that I was running a low fever.  I was laid out the rest of the day, couldn't eat much or stay mobile for long.  Monday I was feeling a little stronger, but still very tired.  My wonderful neighbor came over to play with the girls for a couple of hours while I took a morning nap.  I napped for almost four hours that day!!  Which explains why I laid in bed that night staring at the ceiling until 2 am.

Sunday when I was feeling so puny, I told J that we had to call somebody about the smell in our bathroom.  It was going on two months and we couldn't figure out what it was.  We thought maybe something had crawled into the wall and died.  You can understand our hesitation to investigate.  J spent a Saturday about two weeks ago taking apart the exhaust fan, hoping that whatever it was could be easily cleaned up from that pipe.  No such luck.  The smell was getting so bad that I was avoiding that room for the sake of my stomach.

Monday I called the pest control guy.  I explained the dilemma and told him I didn't know if he could help or not, but he was the first person on our list of professionals who might could help.  He showed up around 5:30 pm on Monday and said it wasn't anything dead.  He couldn't say for sure, but it might be natural gas. Hello?!!  Let me just say it did not smell like the usual sulfur, rotten egg smell you get from a gas leak, so that was not even on our radar.  Never mind that there is no gas source in that room.  It smelled more musty, earthy....I had cleaned the toilet with a toothbrush about three times hoping I could find whatever speck of bacteria was causing the odor.

J very wisely called the gas company to come check and sure enough, we've been living with a low-level gas leak for the last two months!!  We were both mortified.  God has definitely been watching over us.  It's a good thing we don't make a habit of lighting matches in that bathroom.

They shut the gas off immediately and Tuesday morning began the detect and repair process with the plumbers.  They were here all afternoon yesterday and all day today.  They finished up this afternoon, and the gas company will probably make it out to do the inspection and turn the gas back on tomorrow morning.  (Hurray for cold showers and microwave dinners!)  Turns out there were three slow leaks in the attic where the pipe sealant had started to decay, along with a couple of underground leaks between the meter and house.  So yes, they had to dig up part of the back yard.  Fun times, I tell you.

The wonderful part (no sarcasm this time)?  I felt amazing yesterday and today!!  Turns out the main side effects of exposure to natural gas are nausea and headaches.  It basically keeps you from getting the best oxygen supply you would otherwise get.  So you might also feel a little sluggish.  Who knew you could mimic the first trimester of pregnancy just by inhaling a little natural gas?!  Fortunately, the side effects are very short-lived.  I had my first prenatal appointment this morning and the doctor was not concerned about any harm to the baby and was glad that my symptoms were leveling back to normal range.  I told her time would tell if it really was the natural gas causing such intense nausea or not, but I like feeling so much better for sure!  Here's hoping the rest of the week has a little less drama.

Here Comes #3!

Sorry it's been a ridiculously long time since my last blog post.  But I'll make up for it with exciting news...we're expecting baby #3!!  It's still very early in the pregnancy, maybe 7 or 8 weeks, so I don't have an official due date yet; but we're guessing early June.  By my standards, that's cutting it awfully close for too-hot-to-handle summer temps.  Brace yourself now for the whining.

They say that each successive pregnancy has more intense symptoms and they generally happen earlier in the pregnancy.  I'm willing to concede that point so far with the yucky, gross feeling that comes in waves throughout the day.  Ditto on the fatigue.  But I still feel very fortunate that I can ward off my symptoms with some saltines and a snooze.

So now my posts will take on a new element.  Life as usual, plus pregnancy.  I estimate it will be January before we find out if I have to change the blog title.  Stay tuned.