Mamalympics

I've had a running post in my head for a few months now about crazy olympic feats that moms attempt and should get a medal for on a daily basis.  Every event I would organize would be timed, like the obvious fastest time to change a messy diaper with the fewest wipes, or fastest time to buckle screaming children into their car seats.  Or maybe, fastest time to get all the items on the grocery list with at least two children in the buggy.  I thought I was being creative, but I've clearly not put as much thought into it as the writers of these posts.  Only, I like the name "mamalympics" better.  Check 'em out for a good chuckle:
At the Mom Olympics
Welcome to the 2010 Mom Olympics
The Mom Olympics

It Had To Be Done

I debated, got other opinions, tried to avoid it, but it had to be done.  Please forgive me.

Now that it's done, I almost regret it.  But I have to remind myself of the snot-matted mess that was stuck to her nose every time she woke up.  It was really nasty.  It worked for awhile to put it up in the top knot, but she discovered it recently and hadn't stopped pulling out the pony tail holders.  I pulled three of them out of her mouth this morning and that was what sealed the deal for me.  Major choke hazard and all.  I'm surprised it took her this long to find them on top of her head.  Lest she pull one out on the way to the salon, I used barrettes for the car ride.

Hmm...pointy metal triangles...that's safer than cotton elastics.  This is also a good perspective shot to remind me that it really did need to be done.  She was great during the cut, didn't fuss at all and actually stayed pretty still.  It gives me hope for maintaining it myself.  

I don't know if there was a language barrier with the stylist or not, but it ended up a LOT shorter than I had hoped.  I know it will grow out fast, so I'm trying to be relaxed about it.  I originally combed through C's hair in the back as I described how I wanted to keep the length in the back and sides and just take care of the mass at the front.  She asked if I wanted to make bangs and I said yes.  Somehow she ended up working her way all the way around.  I kept saying, "That looks good.  I think that will be nice."  or "There we go, now we can see you."  I guess I wasn't explicit enough.  And once she took a whack at the back, we kind of had to even it out.  Not many one-year-olds running around with the wedge 'do these days.  Just don't be too shocked the next time you see our sweet "hair-do," which has been one of her nicknames.

Big sis got in on the action, too.  She was actually a little more of a squirt in the chair than C.  

We just trimmed up her bangs and evened out the back.  Nothing drastic.  But she would love if you noticed the next time you see her.  

Enough trauma for today.  Gotta save some sentiment for tomorrow.

Don't Freak Out!

I'm saying this for myself and for the grandmas in the room.  Well, my children's grandmas anyway.  We recently learned that A has to have minor outpatient surgery on her thumbs.  Don't freak out!

She came to us several months ago crying that her thumb was "stuck."  I can't remember which one it was, but we realized that both her thumbs seemed double-jointed and would stick in a bent position and then she would have to push really hard to pop them straight again.  J had to help her straighten them a few times and she would complain that it hurt a little, but eventually she stopped complaining of any pain.  We didn't think it warranted its own doctor's visit, so I waited until we had to go for an ear infection to ask her pediatrician to look at her thumbs.  He referred us to a plastic surgeon who specializes in hands and we finally had our appointment last week.

The diagnosis is congenital trigger thumb.  Be careful if you try to google it, because most of the links have photos or videos of the surgery.  It's supposed to be a very simple surgery to correct and the doc felt like it was a good time to find it and correct it.  Left untreated, the joints could freeze up sort of like a rusty hinge.  She would lose range of motion and it could become more painful.  It will be a small incision at the base of each thumb to release the tendon that is catching inside.  My head swims just typing that.  Most of what I read online from parents is that it is harder for the grown-ups to watch their kids go through than it is on the kids.  I can relate to that.  Anyway, outpatient surgery, general anesthesia so she will be immobile since the site is so tiny and precise.  We scheduled it for March 22nd.  He said there was very little risk with the surgery, but the main thing to watch out for was infection of the incision site.  Recovery is very simple; dissolvable stitches and a gauze bandage at the base of her thumbs.

The doctor said that we didn't need to worry about her sucking her thumb since the incision would be well below what she puts in her mouth.  He also said it was in no way caused by her thumb-sucking. This was obvious to me when he pointed out that both thumbs are affected and her right thumb is actually more severe (she sucks her left).  I thought it might be a good opportunity to pull the plug on thumb-sucking, but J vetoed that in favor of minimizing the ordeal of surgery.  We'll keep our original goal of birthday #4 for thumb-quitting.

So, there you have it.  Don't freak out!  I keep telling myself that, but it's still surgery on my baby.  Uncharted waters.  A bit nerve-wracking.  I know she'll be fine, but I'll definitely feel better about it this time next month.

Snow Day

It's snowed three times since we've lived here...what kind of craziness is that?!  This time there was actually some accumulation so I made sure we all went out to play in it.  

Mommy lesson that I didn't know I needed, but now I know -- if you take half an hour to put two pairs of pants and two pairs of socks, shoes, jackets, hats and mittens on your children, you will reap an emergency trip to the bathroom for one and a stinky diaper from the other within minutes of walking out the door, no matter how emphatically you beg for a bathroom trip before bundling up.   Once we were all comfortable again, I'm afraid this is all we could muster:

To give you a little perspective, I had A strike a pose with her first snowman.  So pathetic it's almost cute.  

We threw a few snowballs, but eventually she declared that she didn't like that. I convinced her to make a snow angel:

After viewing the results, she said "Hmm, that's not what I thought it would be." I think we've been watching too much Caillou (he lives in Canada and does lots of cool things in the snow).  C wasn't really thrilled with the snow either.

We lasted about thirty minutes and then came in for hot chocolate.  Snow is beautiful, peaceful, wondrous.  I think it's great to watch from my kitchen window with a mug of hot chocolate in my hands.  But I'm really glad I live in Texas and that it will be in the 60's tomorrow.  Please remind me of this when I'm whining about the oppressive heat this summer.  (Offer good for one reminder per reader per summer.)

Encouraging Tomatoes

I have drawn much parenting encouragement from a website I stumbled upon recently, www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com. I think I was searching for an "if-then chart," which she doesn't have on her site and doesn't advocate. I have to admit that several of her positions are directly opposite of the parenting advice I have heard in the last three years. But I find it so practical and helpful. I was needing a few new tools in my parenting toolbox, and this site reminded me of some that I wasn't putting into full use. As with all parenting books/sites/forums, glean what is useful for your family and don't let anything replace the ultimate truth of God's word. If her tips work for you, great! If not, don't take it as a commentary on your parenting performance. For my children's personalities/temperaments, her counsel is very helpful. Be warned! You could be lured into hours of browsing, as I think most of her book must be published on the website.

Goin' Natural

Count me in! I'm joining the shampoo-free bandwagon! Well, I'm giving it a good try, anyway. I'm not saying that I'm a die-hard believer yet, so let's just call it an extended experiment. I started with simplemom's recipe for one tablespoon of baking soda in one cup of water for shampoo, and one tablespoon of apple cider vinegar in one cup of water for conditioner. (J asked if I was going to go around smelling like feet because of the vinegar, but I made him do a sniff test after the first rinse and he said there was no smell at all.)

I use a lot of product in my hair because it is naturally curly, so I was skeptical that baking soda would wash out all the mousse, hairspray, anti-frizz goop, etc. But I actually got a clean squeak! That hasn't happened in a long time because of the super soft water here. I always felt like I couldn't get all the shampoo out of my hair, but it rinses quite clean now. Ditto with the cider vinegar conditioner. I didn't believe it would actually untangle my nest of frizz, but I can comb my fingers through my hair after using it. Who knew?!

I bought some 97-cent clear ketchup bottles out of the kitchen section at WalMart to use as my experiment beakers. They work great because they have a wide mouth for filling, but a narrow squeeze nozzle for applying. They also have a little attached lid, so I don't have to worry about spills or extra shower water going in. And since they're clear, I can tell how much I have left. FYI, for my mane, I think the one cup of solution will last about three washes.

So how does my hair look? I don't think anyone could visually tell a difference. I honestly think it feels a little dry, leaning towards the straw effect. I've always been heavy on the conditioner, though, using it in the shower and then a leave-in conditioner as part of the product regimen. Simplemom warns that there is a transition period, so I'm trying to be patient and see if my scalp starts to compensate. She also says to tweak the formula to your own hair type, so maybe I need to tinker with the amount of baking soda or try honey as a conditioner and see if that helps. I can't tell a difference at all in the way my hair styles. Of course, how hard can it be to style a ponytail?

By far my biggest complaint about the new system is that the mixtures are freezing cold when I go to use them. Since it's basically just water, it stays room temp. In the winter, that's about 68 degrees at our house. So, I'm in a nice hot shower, then have to douse my head with freezing cold water to wash it. Brrr! I have found that if I put the bottles on the floor of the shower and let the water run over them for a while, they warm up a smidge. Still takes some getting used to. The new routine also takes a little longer than regular shampoo, too. Come to think of it, if I used a trigger spray bottle, both of these problems might be alleviated. A finer mist wouldn't be so cold and it might go faster, too. Might also use less. So much to think about.

I would love to say that I'm intrinsically motivated by the green-ness of this idea, but to be honest I'm still putting plenty of chemicals on my head to produce reasonably tame curls. I can't imagine that the natural potions will allow me to do away with mousse and hairspray any time soon. I'm sure it's healthier for my hair to eliminate as many chemicals as possible, and I'm always a fan of the simplest solution for any problem. Bottom line is that I'm a cheapskate and far more motivated by the savings. I think I also find it quite empowering to know that I have options beyond what is being marketed to me, to know that I have investigated my options and made an informed decision. If only I felt the same way about politics.

Stay tuned for more adventures in going natural, as I'm also trying the clean-your-face-with-oil razzmatazz!

For Valentine's

My true love gave to me....a cold! He came home Wednesday with it and spent most of Thursday and Friday in bed. Then I admitted I was sick on Saturday and he perked up enough to tag team with me for parenting duties. He's got more energy now, but still all stuffed up. I'm running on fumes and hoping this will pass through the house without affecting the girls.

In his defense, he did let me sleep in on Sunday morning, then brought me breakfast in bed. That's a great Valentine's Day gift! Next year I'll take it without the cold, please.

Final Thoughts

Another genius nugget from Love & War by John & Stasi Eldrege:

"We are broken people, with a famished craving in our hearts. We are fallen, all of us. It happened so long ago, back in the Garden of Eden, so early in our story that most of us don't even realize it happened. But the effects of the Fall are something we live with every day, and it would be best for both of you if you understood what it has done to the soul of a man and a woman.

Every woman now has an insatiable need for relationship, one that can never be filled. It is an ache in her soul designed to drive her to God. Men instinctively know that the bottomless well is there, and pull back. I don't want to be engulfed by that. Besides, no matter how much I offer, it'll never be enough. This is Eve's sorrow. This is the break in her cup. She aches for intimacy, to be known, loved, and chosen. And it also explains her deepest fear--abandonment.

Men face a different sort of emptiness. We are forever frustrated in our ability to conquer life. That's the 'sweat of your brow...thorns and thistles' thing. A man aches for affirmation, for validation, to know that he has come through. This also explains his deepest fear--failure."

I really enjoy reading books by the Eldreges. I've never thought of myself as a stereotypical woman (who does?), but their insights always seem to hit home and shed light on parts of my soul that I didn't understand. And they do it in a very friendly, loving way, weaving their own marriage story into the chapters to illustrate the heart of the matter.

If you have time to read the book, I certainly recommend it and not just because they sent me a free copy. Actually, I'm supposed to disclose that this book was provided for review by WaterBrook Multnomah. And click over here if you would like more info on the book. It would make a great gift for nearly/newly marrieds or for a 50th wedding anniversary. Every stage of marriage could benefit from the hope and enthusiasm imparted in these words.

"You see, somewhere along the way we all lose heart in marriage. We all do. It happens to the best of us. We might find a way to manage our disappointment and we might do our best to fight off resignation, but it works its way in. We let go of what we wanted, what we dreamed of, what were created for. We begin to settle.

Because marriage is hard, sometimes painfully hard, your first Great Battle is not to lose heart. That begins with recovering desire--the desire for the love that is written on your heart. Let desire return. Let it remind you of all that you wanted, all that you were created for.

And then consider this--what if God could bring you your heart's desire? It's not too late. It isn't too hard. You are not too far along nor are you and your spouse too set in your ways. God is the God of all hope. He is, after all, the God of the Resurrection. Nothing is impossible for him. So give your heart's desire some room to breathe.

What if the two of you could find your way to something beautiful?

That would be worth fighting for."

Learning to Love

"And what does learning to love look like? Well, for one thing, it looks like compassion for your spouse's brokenness while choosing to turn from your own self-protective style of relating.

We must come to face our style, of course. As men, we look to where we are passive, and where we are domineering, harsh, or violent. As women, we face where we are controlling, and where we are desperately clingy. And as God reveals these things, we make those thousand little choices to turn from our style of relating. We make deliberate choices to love. If you have been avoiding conflict, either as a passive man or a controlling woman, then you say: 'Conflict is okay. Let's talk about these things. I'll go there with you.' If you have been avoiding intimacy, then you say: 'I need you. I don't want to be this island, this impenetrable fortress. I choose to engage.' If you have been controlling, then let go of control. If you've been hiding, then come out of hiding. If you have been filled with anger, then set aside your anger and choose to be vulnerable."

From Love & War by John & Stasi Eldrege

Our Way

"We all have a way that we do life. We might call it our personality, or our natural bent--the way we handle pressure, the way we listen, the way we look for happiness, the way we control our world. We didn't sit down one day and willfully choose to adopt it but it remains a choice nonetheless. Call it our style of relating. It is a carefully crafted approach to life--especially in relationships--that colors the way we work, the way we love, the way we respond, and the way we simply have a conversation with people. This can be quite an epiphany--you have a style of relating designed to make life work for you!

Our style of relating is born out of brokenness and sin, and it is the Number One Thing that gets in the way of real love and real companionship, the shared adventure and all the beauty of marriage. It is really this simple. The number one thing that gets in the way is your way. I don't mean insisting on getting your way--dimming the lights or finding a better parking spot. I mean your way of going about life, your style of relating.

We are, all of us, utterly committed and deeply devoted to our 'style,' our 'way,' our 'approach to life.' We have absolutely no intention of giving it up. Not even for love. So God creates an environment where we have to. It's called marriage."

From Love & War by John & Stasi Eldrege

Seeds Discount!

Interrupting the regularly scheduled blog posts to bring you....a sweet deal!!

So, don't know if you noticed or not, but I got a comment on my post about Seeds Family Worship. Michelle over at Seeds was faithfully checking her Google Alerts and saw my post go by. She's set me up with my own little discount coupon code for their online store. So, if you wanted the music, now's the time to buy. Go to www.seedsfamilyworship.net, and click on the store icon at the bottom of the site. When you are ready to purchase, enter coupon code "SKELLEY" and get 20% off your purchase of cd's (doesn't include clearance items, sorry). Oh, yeah, and I get a free cd if the code is used ten times. Woo hoo!! Thanks, Michelle!

I'm also trying to talk her into bringing Seeds to our neck of the woods for a live event. Feel free to join the campaign.

We now return you to your regular postings, already in progress...

An Enormous Honor

"You have been entrusted with the heart of another human being. Whatever else your life's great mission will entail, loving and defending this heart next to you is part of your great quest. Marriage is the privilege and honor of living as close to the heart as two people can get. No one else in all the world has the opportunity to know each other more intimately than do a husband and wife. We are invited into their secret lives, their truest selves; we come to know their nuances, their particular tastes, what they think is funny, what drives them crazy. We are entrusted with their hopes and dreams, their wounds, and their fears....

Without you, your spouse will not become the man or the woman that God intends him or her to be and the Kingdom of God will not advance as it is meant to advance. Your spouse plays the most vital role in your life. You play the most critical role in your spouse's life. No one will have a greater impact on your spouse's soul than you. No one has greater access to your spouse's heart than you. This is an enormous honor.

Pause a moment; take a deep breath. Let that reality sink in a little deeper--you are the human being who plays the most significant role in your spouse's life. It is not your spouse's mother or father. It is not your spouse's favorite teacher, author or pastor. It is you. It is a sobering truth, isn't it. You are on holy ground. You matter more than you thought."

From Love & War by John & Stasi Eldrege

Love & War

J and I are pretty good about consulting each other before committing to any thing, but he snuck one in on me last month. He's on a newsletter list for a publisher and receives invitations every now and then to write reviews for books on his blog. We're fans of John Eldrege, so when his new book came up among the invitations, J signed both of us up for it. It arrived about 3 weeks ago, and the instructions asked us to read the book and post our review during the week before Valentine's. Sure, I can read a 200+ page book in my copious amounts of free time during the next 3 weeks.

If I wasn't already an enthusiastic fan, I would have "forgotten." But we finally read Wild at Heart last fall and both found it to be an insightful look into men's hearts. Then my sister encouraged me to get a copy of the companion book, Captivating, co-authored by Eldrege and his wife, Stasi. I'm only a few chapters into that one, but it seems to be a welcome, refreshing look at God's heart for women. So I was pretty excited to see that the Eldreges have put together a book on marriage, Love & War. Their writing style is so natural, conversational, easy to read. I really do wish I had a few days uninterrupted to pore over the book, mark it up with my notes and process the light-bulb moments.

I'm about half-way through the book now, and have this week to finish it. I've already found such great nuggets of wisdom and theology, though, that I wanted to start sharing them. So I'm going to post a quote from the book every day this week as a teaser. Starting with this one:

"Your mariage is part of a larger story, too, a story as romantic as any that has ever stirred your heart, and at least as dangerous. The sooner you come to terms with this, the sooner you can understand what is happening in your marriage.

We cheer on the hero and the heroine because we can see what is at stake--the kingdom hangs upon their success. Yet we haven't anything close to this sort of clarity in our own marriages; we would be hard-pressed to name one thing that hangs in the balance, apart from our sanity and Grandmother's silver....

God is a great lover, and he created marriage to play out on this earth a daily, living, breathing portrait of the intimacy he longs for with his people. Gulp. This is why it has such a central role. It is a kind of incarnation, a passion play about the love and union between Jesus and his beloved.

Which might help you appreciate why the fury of hell has been unleashed against it. God is telling a love story and the setting is war."

Gives me goosebumps every time I think that God would choose me to be part of something larger. Stay tuned for more great pearls from Love & War.

Been There, Done That

The Men's Retreat for our church was this past weekend, so the moms from our class got together at Chuck E. Cheese on Friday night with all the kids. Chuck E. Cheese. Friday night. Preschoolers. Single moms. Sounds like a whole lot of crazy, doesn't it?

This was our first trip to the Circus for the Senses. And despite the expectation of frayed nerves and germ warfare, it was reasonably fun. Mediocre pizza + overpriced games = preschooler heaven. I have two theories about this type of entertainment, theories that I'm sure are not original. First, the tickets that the games spit out are reward enough at this age; didn't need to divulge the secret of redeeming them for prizes. Second, the glass case that the reward trinkets are displayed in definitely magnifies their size.

Delayed obedience is disobedience

I don't know how many times a day I have to tell A, "Obey right away, all the way, with a happy heart." (Quote from Ginger Plowman's Don't Make Me Count to Three) Boy, I am the biggest hypocrite. See there's been this little heart issue that God made me aware of, oh, I don't know, maybe a few weeks ago, give or take a YEAR! Seriously, I have been delaying my own obedience for over a year now. Why does God put up with kind of disrespect?!

Scary thing is that I don't know for sure, but He might not have been tolerating it. Years ago, I did something very similar. That time it was very intentional, though. I didn't want to deal with the hurt in my heart and I wasn't going to. Remind you of anyone we know? (Hint: she wouldn't eat her pears.) We had been back in the states for about six months and J was doing everything he could to get hired on at the company he was consulting for. But the door was closed and beyond the door was a brick wall. Every time it seemed to crack open, it got slammed closed again. We were very frustrated. One Sunday, I told J to go on to church without me, that God and I had business to tend to at home. I was weary of carrying the bitterness and God loved me too much to let me. We had a good talk and forgiveness was so sweet. J got his job offer the next day.

Sure, maybe it was a coincidence. But I beg to differ. I believe my disobedience had affected my family's growth. We weren't going anywhere until I obeyed. I had completely forgotten about this until God brought it to my mind recently. I shuddered. I knew I was living in disobedience to a faithful God and what if my disobedience was stunting my family's growth again? I don't know. But I know I obeyed. That little thing that I thought wasn't bothering anybody else has been dealt with, done, forgiven, over, close the book on that one. Please, Lord Jesus, don't let it have been hurting anyone else.

Seeds

I think everyone should know about Seeds Family Worship. It's great because it is Scripture set to music that both kids and grown-ups can enjoy. That is not an easy task to accomplish. I do have to fight for my turn with Seeds over Veggie Tales, but it pays off when I hear my preschooler singing Philippians 4:8.

The cd's are really reasonably priced at $12.95 and come with two identical cd's...one to keep and one to give away. How awesome is that?! You can check them out at seedsfamilyworship.net. Here's a YouTube sample. Enjoy!