We're Moving!

Well, the blog is.  Sorry if I got you to do a double-take.  No I'm not, that would be funny.  I'd laugh a lot if you thought I was moving while nine months pregnant.  It's enough effort to figure out a new blog title and get it all set up.

It took me so long because all of the really good names that I wanted are already taken.  Our Pink Arrows is really about the girls and I wanted to broaden my focus some with the new title.  At the same time, I wanted to answer that question that every pregnant woman gets asked, "Are you done?"  As if now is really the best time to be making life-altering decisions.

While I heartily maintain that I will never be pregnant again (unless the Lord intervenes), the truth is that I am not done.  Our family remains open to how God may grow us, in number and character.  A common theme at our house is that "the journey is the destination."  We are growing, changing, learning, stretching, sharpening each other as a daily goal.  We are far from 'complete' and rejoice with great delight that God isn't finished with us yet.

So, I had hoped to rename the blog something along that line...not done, unfinished, work in progress, still working, etc.  But of course all permutations that I could think of were taken.  I guess we aren't the only ones that feel that way.  I had settled on a less profound solution for time's sake and spent several hours setting up that site and getting it ready.  Then as I was typing this post, a new idea came to me and it was available!!  Woo hoo!

Tune your dials to progressperfection.blogspot.com to see the new blog!  Please note that the title of the blog is Progress, Not Perfection.  But the url does not match exactly.  Somebody else already had progressnotperfection, so I just took out the not.  Already practicing the not perfect part!

Perhaps as I blog under the new title, I will be reminded that demanding perfection from myself and my loved ones only makes us all miserable.  I know we are to be pursuing the perfection that is Christ-likeness, but if I don't do it with His love, mercy and grace, then it will be a colossal disaster.  Somewhere in the journey of figuring out how to do that are lots of really great blog posts.

So, update your RSS feeders, or email subscriptions and make sure they point to the new url.  This is the last post at Our Pink Arrows!!  And I've got some real doozies to share this week.  See you at progressperfection.blogspot.com.  Thanks for following!

Flower Baby!

From about 15 months old or so, both of my girls have loved to see themselves wrapped up in their towels after bath time.  It's a fun way to get them out of the tub.  C is on the last hooded towel that will wrap around her and it has petals for the hood...our little flower baby:

Into the Cave

I feel myself slowly sneaking into the cave that is mommy-of-newborn.  The last few days of cool weather have brought a welcome pause to this procession as I've been more comfortable to leave the house or just play with the girls outside.  The heat and humidity is definitely a force that propels me into the isolation of my home.  It's hard to want to go out for much of anything when you just can't get comfortable.

And I'm feeling pretty comfy in my little cave.  I've got things washed and ready for baby, I've got a good grip on school for the fall, I've got some meals in the freezer, I have help lined up.  I feel like we're in as good a place as we can be for this new addition.

Because I'm feeling comfortable with the condition of my cave, I'm hoping I'll be able to relax and really relish the days ahead.  I need to be sitting more than standing these days and that should be of great benefit to my girls.  I can read with them more, play games with them, color with them, etc.  Hopefully I can fill them up with some quality mommy time before I get snatched away by baby.  And then I hope to be able to take those newborn days for what they are and let life happen for a month or two, knowing that I planned to concentrate on my kids during this time rather than feeling pressure to do other things.

Just typing that makes me squirm a little.  I don't do "unstructured" very well and I thrive when my to-do list is long and looming.  But I want to make this a special time, a relaxed time, an easy time for my family, not a nightmare.  I want to enjoy the cave this time and all it has to offer.  I know that will make the sunshine even more spectacular when we emerge as a family of five.

Nesting

Some expectant mommies feather their nest by painting the nursery, sewing bedding, picking out clothes.  Me?  I buy shelves and organize!

Don't get me started on the saga that is the mismatched IKEA shelves.  Apparently, holding out to buy the same piece from the same line at the same store doesn't do you any good if you wait too long.  They no longer offer that color, size or door style.  I was absolutely disgusted.  You cannot begin to imagine how much the lack of symmetry bothers me if I open the door to that obsession.  So I hid the new shelf in the corner as best I could and filled it up.

I'm planning to do school in the dining room next year, so now all of our school resources are in one place.  I did such a good job of purging the shelves that I even ended up with room to grow.  All of our art supplies are here, too, and I've got the table covered with a cheap clear, vinyl tablecloth so it is ready to go when they want to grab a bucket of supplies and some paper and create.  It's fun that both girls are at an age where I can trust them with this now (at least at the table).

I covered some diaper boxes in fabric and filled them with board books on the lower shelves for little hands to grab easily.  In theory, our littlest will understand the concept of "no" and "don't eat the books" by the time he can reach the third shelf.  My two lower cabinets have locks on them that A can operate by herself and that's where I'm going to put her school workboxes.  More on that later, but I'm super excited about this method of organizing our assignments.

What you don't see is the extra purging of toys and books I had to do in C's room so that I could move some of our grown-up books onto the high shelves in there.  This has been a process, y'all.  I still need to reclaim some wall space in the dining room for hanging art work, maps and posters.  That will be a gradual migration of our current decor to the living room, I think.  Then some major wall patching since we have some shelves anchored to the wall.  That's probably why I haven't started with that yet.  All in good time.

For now, I'm quite pleased with the results and trying to restrain myself from breaking into the school goodies too soon.  We've already enjoyed the ease of doing art at the big table with supplies at arm's reach.  And they can help clean up, too.  Isn't it a cozy, particle-board nest?

When Did That Happen?!

Since I've been hiding from the heat, I've been relying on other people to play outside with the girls.  My mommy's helpers have been invaluable and J has spent a lot of time with them, too.  Imagine my surprise, then, when I went out this morning with them while the weather was tolerable and discovered that C can pedal her tricycle!!  When did that happen?!

I had tried to show her a few times earlier this spring how to let her feet take turns pushing the pedals, but then my belly got too big to bend over and it got so crazy hot.  I knew she would figure it out eventually.  But I was still a little sad that I wasn't there when she did.  Go, C!  Such a big girl!  Maybe if I hide inside all summer with the baby, she'll figure out how to potty train herself, too.

35 Weeks

We're in the final month of this pregnancy and I could not be more thrilled!  Had another check-up this morning and everything looks healthy and normal.  I've been feeling every little stretch and pop of my bones and muscles and complained about the pain to my doc, but she was not nearly as impressed by my symptoms as I was hoping she would be.  Guess I'm more of a wimp than I thought and I need to just suck it up for a few more weeks.  I told J this summation of my appointment and he wisely said that he wasn't going to be the one to tell me that.

We took the girls for a sibling tour of the hospital last night.  I was really impressed by the way the hospital structured this introduction for soon-to-be big brothers and sisters.  We got to see the rooms, the nursery, the waiting areas.  More importantly, they got to push the buttons on the bed to make it go up and down, blow up latex gloves like balloons, and bring home sample bottles and diapers for their baby dolls.  We are all getting really excited to meet our little brother.

Her First Nightgown

C recently made her debut into the little girl privilege that is a pretty nightgown.  It might have been a little early, because it almost swallows her up; but her reaction was worth it.  "I'm wearing a dress to sleep in!"

This is the same nightgown that A wore two years ago.  Why is it so picture-worthy, you ask?

Because it was my nightgown many years ago.  Another one of those handmade blessings from a Grandma whose loving hands continue to touch her family.

Why Me?

We heard an incredible testimony last week at our home group meeting.  One of the families in our group is about to return to India to be missionaries to their own people.  We got to hear from her father, who came to salvation under miraculous circumstances.  He was a young adult before he had ever heard of a Christian, and still didn't know what that meant.  Yet God orchestrated his life as an example of Romans 1:20, "For since the creation of the world, God's invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse."

As he shared his journey to Christ and the persecution he has endured since becoming a believer, I could not help but wonder the difference between his soul and mine.  Why have I been born in a place and time where I have easy access to the gospel?  Why was I born into a family with an extraordinary heritage of believers?  Why me and not him?  What is my responsibility with this blessing?  What would God have me do or be because of my circumstances that predispose me to belief?

My first response is to have the mindset that I am here "for such a time as this."  That God has put me here, now for a specific purpose and I just need to be alert for that purpose.  But I also know that God doesn't need me to accomplish any of His purposes.  He will fulfill His plans with or without me.  If I miss the boat, it's just that--I miss out on knowing Him more deeply by having worked together with Him.  It's a delicate juggling act, to not allow this unknown purpose to dominate my consciousness, but to trust that He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion and not let me miss the opportunity if I am focusing on Him.

God, why do you have me here, now?  I don't believe it's random.  Tune my heart to you, that I would not miss any opportunity to make the most of the circumstances you have blessed me with.

The Problem With Expectations

J was trying to convince the girls to go with him yesterday to WalMart so I could get a little peace and quiet.  (I have so enjoyed our long weekend with him with no real plans.  He's filled all his girls' love tanks plumb full.)  My girls don't thrill to the idea of going to WalMart, so he had his work cut out for him.

A was quite the negotiator.  She informed him that Mom could go get the bicycle tire he needed and he could stay home and play with them.  Normally, a win/win accomplishing the same goal of peace and quiet.  However, Mom did not want to go out in the heat or waddle around WalMart.  But that didn't stop her from trying.

She came to the door of the laundry room where I was shuffling baby clothes into the dryer and announced with confidence, "Dad needs a new bicycle tire from WalMart and I expect you to go get it."  See how that's the problem with expectations?  If you expect anything, you should equally expect to be disappointed.

She came home from her trip to WalMart with flowers and chocolates for Mom.  I didn't expect that!

Want to Know

As I was washing baby things yesterday, I took an extra moment to caress the flannel blankets that my Grandma made for my son.  I fingered the crocheted details bordering the edge and thought of her sitting in her living room on the porch swing she had for a couch.  Feet on an avocado-green ottoman, gently gliding back and forth as she went around and around each square of flannel to add her handmade touch.

I had the gift of sharing a home with her as a teenager, but completely wasted that time with her.  I was so absorbed in the narcissistic universe that is teen drama that I missed out on so much of what could have been a precious inheritance of her wisdom and skill.

She's been in heaven for almost ten years now.  She took time a long time ago to make a set of baby blankets for each of her grandchildren.  My "girl" blankets are soft and loved, but the "boy" set was still crisp and stiff.  As I took them out of the dryer, I said a little thanks for her thoughtfulness.

I want my children to know her.  And that made me think of Easter.  Christ conquered death and the grave, that's what I've been telling my girls for the last week.  We can live forever with Him in heaven because He holds the key.  And when we get there, we'll see all those people who have gone before us.

I want to know if those relationships will still matter to us when we get there.  Or will we just be so overcome with adoration and worship, that it doesn't matter who we're with?  They are all family and we are united in our worship.  Or will those relationships be fulfilled in a way that can only happen in the presence of God?

When I was younger, I would hear older people praying for Christ's quick return and wonder what kind of crazy thing they were praying.  "Don't come too soon, Jesus, I've got things I want to do!" But I understand now, and I'm sure the longing will only get stronger.  Come, Lord Jesus, come.  I want to know.

Laundry Day

I turned the dryer on this morning only to have Jeremy ask, "Are you drying gravel?!"  No, that would be a load of baby clothes resplendent with snaps.  I did five loads of baby stuff today!!  And that doesn't include the four bags of pass-me-downs that didn't get washed.  I washed two loads of tiny clothes, then three loads of burp rags, washcloths, towels, blankets, sheets, etc.  I've only bought one outfit, but we are set.

I hoarded baby girl clothes for so many years, "just in case."  Having boy clothes rain down in spades has only confirmed for me that there is no need to hold on to things "just in case."  God will provide what we need, when we need it.  And in the meantime, I can funnel His provision on to someone else instead of carting it up and down the attic stairs (or asking my husband to).

Remarkable Phenomenon

Ah, quiet time.  It's really not meant for a 2-year-old, I don't think.  She is still just scary enough that I'm afraid to leave her unsupervised, but I need that break.  She got close to climbing out of her crib one too many times, so she's on the floor now with the whole room at her fingertips...including the built-in shelving unit with cabinets full of toys.  So far, she hasn't started pulling everything out or climbing the shelves, but I know it's just a matter of time.

I will say that she is doing well with quiet time.  She is no more cranky in the afternoon than she is in the morning, so I can't blame her defiance on no nap.  She's just two.

The one thing I have noticed that changes after quiet time is her volume.  It's rather remarkable.  When her timer starts beeping at the end of quiet time, she begins yelling, "Mommy!  My timer!  Come!  It's beeping! Come get me!  Mommy!"  And her volume remains at that level for hours.  It's as if she's afraid to be quiet again lest she fall asleep.

She did this a few days ago when we were at the store with Daddy.  We could not get her to be quiet for all the threats in our kingdom.  Nor for all the consequences at our disposal.  She just could not use her inside voice.  The more tired (tireder?) she gets, the louder she gets.  I suppose we're using all of our "quiet" during that one hour of the day and it's too much to ask to save some for later.  I'll take that trade-off, though, and keep repeating my daily mantra, "Turn your volume down.  Turn your volume down."

Disneyland

I have resisted the commercial marketing machine that is all things Disney the best I can.  My attempts have proven futile, unfortunately.  We are swimming in Disney princesses around here and we also love Lightning McQueen and his friends.  But I really can't buy into the idea of spending a year's worth of college tuition on a vacation to the family mecca that is a Disney theme park.  Until...

Every morning when A wakes up, we have a little conversation about how she slept, if she had any dreams, what we're doing that day, etc.  Recently, she was telling me about one of her dreams.  (Context: I don't think she has any clue that a Disney park exists.  But we have watched Peter Pan and she talks all the time about magical things that happen in Neverland.)  In her dream, "all my Little Pets were alive and all my Little Ponies and all the Disney princesses were there and they were alive!  And, Mom, it was called...Disneyland!"

The wonder in her eyes was enough to make me contemplate a second mortgage so we could go to this magical place and make her dream come true.  So that's how they hook you!  Help me now.

Works of Art

You may have picked up on a recurring theme around here that my children can sometimes be a bit frustrating.  I always love them, of course, but sometimes they can be a smidge exasperating. That's why things like this are cherished in a mommy's heart:

And I know the little one is really thinking the same thing, she just doesn't have the fine motor skills to write her thoughts yet.  But I know how to translate this...

I love my job!

End of an Era

Well, we finally did it.  Apparently, J traded one boat for another when he got rid of his sailboat and bought a minivan.  Yes, we took the plunge a couple of weeks ago (and signed on enough financing to feed a small African village for a month) and joined the minivan parade.

J was a hard-nosed negotiator and ended up getting us a great deal on a new Toyota Sienna.  I'm still getting used to driving it, especially parking.  He thought I'd get a ding and a speeding ticket within the first ten days, but I didn't.  The engine is bigger than my Accord, so it's really easy to be speeding without any effort.  Gotta keep my eye on that dial.

We still haven't figured out the in/out routine with the girls.  A wants to sit in the very back and she can buckle herself into her booster seat, so that works.  But it would be much more convenient for mommy to have her in the middle row as a helper.  How do all you minivan moms handle the dropped toys, cups, etc. when you can't reach the kids?  Is it just a learning process for the kids to not drop their stuff?

They both want to push the button to open/close the side doors.  This was a feature I really wanted, but it is really causing some strife.  Just another routine we need to work out so everyone gets a turn and no one gets smushed or stuck inside.

Most importantly, we're back onboard the frugal train.  The pay increase that J got a few months ago provided for a van payment.  But we'd been living a little high on the hog in the meantime and it's time to pull that budget back out and dust it off.

And poor J has to make one more sacrifice.  Not only does he have to choke down humble pie as he drives a vehicle he swore he would never drive, but he's also sold his little VW Golf.  It was showing its age, but I know he's missing it since it was like driving a grown-up go-kart.

Lots of changes around here to make that transition to a family of five.  What's next?

Holding Steady

I had another doctor's appointment yesterday morning and she was eager to experiment with a new ultrasound machine, so she asked if I had time for her to play around.  Of course!  It's always reassuring to get a peek at baby and make sure everything is going well.  And it is!

Judging by the machine's measurements, he's just a smidge over 4 lbs. right now and on track to be an average-size newborn around 6-7 lbs.  Due date still seems to be holding for the first week of June.  And yes, it's definitely a boy.

Best news was that the amniotic fluid levels are well within the normal range.  Normal is between 5 and 20 (cc's, I think) and I was measuring just under 14.  Concern goes up if it drops below 10, so I feel like I don't really have any margin for missing a glass of water each day.  If being diligent only keeps me at 14 and not closer to 17 or 18, then I don't want to slack off any time soon.

Tomorrow marks week 31...6-9 more weeks to go!  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....

Total Mommy Cleanse

For the last 36 hours I have been holed up in a local hotel room all by myself.  I'll pause a moment to let the full magnitude of those last three words fully dawn upon you.  It has been blessedly silent.  The clack of my keys is the only noise I hear as I try to document this wonderful retreat in the minutes I have before check-out.

I asked for this weekend several months ago, knowing I would need a concentrated block of time to plan next year's school curriculum for A's kindergarten year.  So I ordered my books and lugged them along and have spent my time familiarizing myself with the schedule and books, filling in extras, planning field trips, and surfing forums for great ideas.  I feel like I'm in a good place to start this fall, considering I will have minimal capacity for further planning between now and then.

But I have also relished the independence of this weekend...eating my meals whenever and wherever I wanted, not sharing the food on my plate, and being able to read a book in silence while I ate.  Waking when my body was ready, bathing at my leisure, watching tv without consideration of its audience, popping in and out of my car for multiple errands within an hour.  All these things help to detox my mind, my attitude, my motivation and fortify me to return to the hardest job I'll ever love.  It's a total mommy cleanse and I didn't have to drink anything nasty.

Many, many thanks to J for making this time possible.  Thank you for investing in our children while I was away, for caring about their education and supporting me in homeschooling, and for loving me enough to know when I need a good cleanse.  I promise to only do it once a year.

Crazy Combo

I know toddlers put a lot of crazy combinations together at the table and I'm not one to stop them.  After all, if ketchup helps green beans go down, I say go for it!  But C caught me off guard the other night at supper when she asked to follow her cupcake dessert with another pickle.  I get that some people want to finish on a salty note, others on a sweet note.  I can understand that.  I could not understand using the pickle to scrape the frosting remnants off the cupcake.  Frosted pickles?!  I'm pregnant and that still sounds disgusting!  Had to document that one.

More on Idols

No, I'm not into American Idol.  They lost me many seasons ago and may this be the final season, good riddance.  This is about the kind of idols we unknowingly create in our hearts.  I'm reading (very slowly and sporadically) Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel and he caught my attention when he started talking about idols:

"When you convince your kids that things are evil rather than Satan and his corrupted world system being evil, you set them up to be easily manipulated by him.  I knew a lady who would pick up her elementary-age children from school during the last week of October just so they wouldn't have to walk by the jack-o'-lanterns that people put out in front of their houses.  She said she was frightened of what could happen to her children, but all she did was transfer her fear of jack-o'-lanterns to her children as well....By taking something inanimate and giving it animate evil power, she had just showed her kids how to create an idol.  Their fear of the jack-o'-lanterns was giving a dead carved vegetable a power it didn't have....

It is idolatry to affix evil power to things or actions that are just things and actions (hairstyles, rock concerts, clothing, dancing, dating, etc.).  What determines evil is how Satan is using the thing or the action in the individual's life.  What determines goodness is how God is working through the thing or the action in the individual's life.  What determines who is doing what is the individual (you, me, or the child) in the equation." 

I have to keep reading that last paragraph over and over to make sense of it, and I'm not sure what to do with it for the brief instant that the meaning seems clear.  But it seems like a powerful thing to think about and be aware of, so I wanted to share it for better or worse.

This Too Shall Pass

I've been saying this to myself often in recent weeks, knowing that we are in a season with well-defined time boundaries.  I will not be pregnant forever.  I will not be the mother of three under five forever.  This too shall pass.  Time passes at the same rate of speed no matter my circumstances.

I was so encouraged by one of the posts over at It's Almost Naptime this week.  If you are a mother of littles, please go read One Year Olds Hit and other amazing bits of wisdom.  Here's a sneak peek:

"Oh, and then there's the fun of discipline. What are realistic expectations? How much do they understand? Am I too hard or too lenient? Am I being played, or am I scarring them for life?"

 Bet you never have that debate with yourself.  Only about a dozen times a day.  This too shall pass.

Reinforcements Have Arrived!

Ladies and gentlemen, the cavalry has arrived and they are well-trained, eager and equipped to fight side-by-side against a mommy's greatest enemies--whiny children and sticky floors.  They are....the Mommy's Helpers.

I first heard about these legendary heroes from a friend who endured bed rest during her last pregnancy and was saved by a mommy's helper.  I started calling (well, e-mailing) around about a month ago when I was feeling so overwhelmed and stuck, not knowing that a great deal of that was probably the anemia.  Nevertheless, I found help and I'm not giving it up just because I'm on an iron supplement.

I was thrilled to be introduced to two young sisters who were eager to get some babysitting experience under their belts.  They are going to come once a week for three hours just to hang out with my girls while I am home and give me a little time to concentrate on tasks I need to get done.  Can I get a hallelujah?

Another mom I talked to said that her girls would also be willing to do this, but their schedule wasn't quite as good of a match with ours.  Oh, their mom says, maybe they could come and help you clean or cook?  Oh?!  Is this an option?!  Bring on the sisters who clean and cook!  Let's have another hallelujah!

We've had the blessing of these four girls for one week now and I am so, so grateful!  Of course, they are getting paid.  But the rate is reasonable enough to allow me to add them to our weekly schedule.  And can I say how impressed I am already?  I really need to be rubbing elbows with these girls' mothers because, wow!  What do I need to be doing so that my girls are that polite, respectful, responsible, servant-hearted, and self-directed by their early teens?  Teach me, o wise ones!!

Fatigue, Irritability, Dizziness...oh my!

So I never really said how my glucose screening went at last month's appointment.  As suspected, my glucose levels were fine, but I was surprised to hear that I was slightly anemic.  "Nothing to worry about," I'm told, "just try to eat a little more beef and dark, leafy greens."  Okay, I'll see what I can do...neither of those are big staples in my routine diet.

Within a week of that news, I almost blacked out twice.  This is not new for me; I'm well-versed in the art of fainting.  I didn't think much of it the first time, but the second time I almost passed out in my sleep.  How bizarre is that?!  Since I've fainted so often before, I feel like my brain is pretty clued-in to the sequence that leads to total unconsciousness and I can usually short-circuit it before I'm out cold on the floor.  So I woke myself up when I started feeling the little black fuzzies coming on, and it really weirded me out because there isn't a lot you can do to relax when you're already asleep!  And it felt like it would happen again if I went back to sleep.  Of course, middle of the night wreaks havoc on your rational thought, so I eventually got up and cuddled with Google to try to talk some sense into myself.  Because Google always speaks truth and wisdom, right?

That's when I learned that fainting and dizziness are common symptoms of anemia.  Guess what else?  Irritability.  Haven't had any of that around here lately.  Ha!  I knew about the fatigue and weakness, but I didn't realize the other symptoms I had been experiencing were all tied to anemia--shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, numbness/tingling in toes or fingers, and headaches.  Boy, if these symptoms could all be cleared up with a supplement, it would certainly make the next 12 weeks more bearable!

So I started on an iron supplement.  I've been taking it for just over a week now.  J asked if I could tell any difference, and I can't say that I feel any more rested.  But that may be because a certain someone has really hijacked naps lately.  But I've definitely cut back on the tylenol for headaches; I can say that for sure.  I don't think my family would be able to answer nicely about the irritability.  The great google says it can take 2-3 months to replenish depleted iron stores, so at least I should be back up to normal in time for delivery.  And hopefully, I will continue to see some of the other symptoms improve as it builds back up in my system.

I hit 29 weeks today.  If all goes well, then 11 more weeks to go.  If all the water consumption doesn't translate to better amniotic fluid levels, then it may be only 8 weeks.  Father God, I know I've been really whiny lately about this pregnancy, but could You please protect me from any new symptoms for the duration of this trimester?  By Your grace, I'll endure what I've already got; but I don't like to think about who I'll be if another new thing crops up.  Please keep baby and me healthy and strong till we can meet each other.  Thank you for the miracle that keeps kicking me in the gut.  Amen.

Last Holdout

Apparently mama is the last holdout on naps around this house.  I finally surrendered and allowed C to have "quiet time" in her crib today instead of trying to force her to take a nap.  This is not very different from what we've been doing except that I didn't spend half an hour fighting with her to close her eyes at the beginning of the hour.  I put some books and a few toys in her crib and told her I would be back when the timer beeped.  She did really well for a first attempt.  I only had to go in once when her band-aid started bothering her.  And she played quietly, too, so I actually got in a short snooze.  We'll see how cooperative she is this afternoon.

It really burns me that I have to be okay with this.  I really want to be able to force her to take a nap, but that just isn't realistic.  And it's not healthy for our relationship to have this daily struggle.  So, I surrender.  I'm not sure why they don't want to take naps.  After all, I think it's glorious and look forward to that time of day more than any other.  Okay, not quite...bedtime is definitely my favorite.

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...a two-year-old who won't nap.  Utterly infuriating!  She's lying in her bed alternating between cute sing-songy play and downright belligerent demands yelled at her mother.  "Mommy? Mommy, can you hear me?!  I don't want to take nap!  Get me out NOW!" Brief silent pause, then "itsy, bitsy spider-man went up the water spout."  I don't know who told her it was Spider Man that went up the water spout, but she's convinced.

I really would be fine with her not napping if she would play quietly like her big sister.  But this is a foreign concept to a toddler.  That's why they are supposed to take naps.  'Cause if you're too loud during quiet time, then mommy doesn't get her nap and that's just bad for the whole house.  Never mind that a toddler who won't nap is predisposed to lots of discipline as the afternoon stretches into evening.

And so mommy stands in front of the computer and tries to lose herself in bloggy world while eating chocolate and trying to make up the day's water intake.  But don't think I can concentrate to really write anything significant or worthy of your reading.  That will have to wait for another day.

It's Not Just Gas Prices

J sent this lovely piece of news to me almost a month ago and I've been meaning to pass it on.  If you're wondering why produce prices are climbing, here's your answer:  Food prices to rise...

A Moment of Silence

Ladies and gentlemen, could we please observe a moment of silence for the monumental sacrifice that my husband has made in relinquishing his firstborn sailboat.

Yes, he made it himself from raw materials.  Lots of sweat and tears went into that little beauty.  I think he started it in 2007ish.  I know A was around, but she was still too little to sail along.  (She was too little and the boat was too "experimental.")

When we cleaned out the garage last month, he admitted that it was time to let it go.  He hadn't touched it since we moved almost three years ago.  This stage of life is just not conducive to time-consuming hobbies.  I posted it on freecycle and we were thrilled to pass it on to a boy scout who was really excited to spruce it up, make it seaworthy and earn a few merit badges with it.

I say it was his firstborn sailboat because I know it won't be the last.  This man loves to sail and make things with his hands.  He hearts DIY sailboats.  One day, his son will be ready to wield a hammer and slop paint and they will make amazing things together.  I want that for him and can't wait to watch (with band-aids and wipes at the ready).

Name Dilemma

No, not the baby's name.  We've got enough ideas for boy names that we haven't really opened the door to suggestions yet.  Not that we're opposed to audience participation.  We've just already got some pretty strong options.

It's this blog!  What am I going to call this blog now that I have a little boy to start writing about?  Bring on the suggestions.  And no, I don't think purple arrows are any more masculine than pink ones.

I Blame You

Alright, some more of you out there started praying for me; I can feel it.  And, THANK YOU!!

I didn't mean to cause any concern with yesterday's post, just wearing my feelings on my sleeve.  Thanks to those of you have sent me encouraging notes and made offers of help.  I really am blessed with so many friends and family who genuinely care about how I am doing.

We've had a great day today.  It probably didn't hurt that I spent a majority of the morning at the doctor's office sans kiddos for my glucose screening.  No results until tomorrow, but I'm not expecting anything out of the ordinary.  Heartbeat sounded strong and the doc was pleased with normal progress.  And she made a really sad, empathetic face when I whined about my symptoms.  That's always nice.

J stayed home with the girls and even played phonics bingo with A while I was gone.  Bonus!  Schoolwork done while I was away!

Then there was this little jewel of a bubble-blowing episode.  I don't usually let them blow bubbles with their straws because it causes a huge mess and really, who likes being splashed from someone else's cup while trying to eat?  But, they weren't at the table...

They reveled in the freedom for almost twenty minutes.  I thought one of them would hyperventilate and pass out.  You can't see it very well in the video, but A's face was red from exertion.  C obviously got bored with bubbles and started just dumping her water on the floor, but I'm cool with that because she also likes to wipe it up.  Good clean fun!  (I stopped the video right before A announced that she almost got snot in her cup.  Yum.)

We even broke out the paint and glue and did a little art this afternoon.  And we all enjoyed each other.  That feels really good.  And I blame you, friends.  Thank you.

What's My Motivation?

Yes, I know, it's been a month since I posted anything.  No, I don't have a good reason.  Some fun things have happened, some interesting things, some everyday things.  But I just haven't felt like posting.  I haven't felt like doing much of anything.  I'm sort of dragging myself through the days lately, trying to put one foot in front of another.

I don't have a good reason for feeling so melancholy.  I'm really blessed.  But the discomforts of being six months pregnant have sort of become a burr in my saddle and my attitude has gone sour.  My poor daughters get the brunt of my exasperation.  I have zero tolerance for whining, complaining and not doing what needs to be done even though that's all I want to do...whine, complain, and procrastinate.

Not sure if it's hormones, spiritual attack, or just physical, but I really need it to stop.  I've asked several folks to pray that this cloud would be lifted and I could face the next three months with joy and grace.  I know prayer can accomplish much, so I'm pinning my hopes on that.

Hint, hint

SimpleMom had a great post today about frugal Valentine's day gift ideas.  Just thought I'd throw that out there in case any one needs some suggestions.  I like #1, 3 and 5 myself, but that's just me, thinking out loud...nothing specific or anything.

Snow Day 2011

The great arctic blast of 2011 didn't live up to all the hype (as usual).  Our predicted 3" of snow was barely a dusting.  Still, we had a great time this morning.  J stayed home from work to help us have fun.  After last year's snow day went sour, I knew I would need his help to make this one memorable.  There wasn't nearly the accumulation as last year, so we started by just making lots of footprints.

Then, A made a beautiful snow angel.  I think the key is to do it on the driveway, not the grass. And you need to have daddy home to lift you up so you don't mess it up when you're trying to stand.

Next, the snow fight commenced.  It was really hard to pack a snowball with gloves that are a little too big, so daddy found some dustpans and it turned into a shovelful-of-snow fight.

J said it was the most polite snow fight he had ever been in.  The rules of engagement require that you turn your back, stand still and wait to be hit with snow. 

After all the available snow was shoveled, it was time to come in for hot chocolate and toasted marshmallows.

Then we cracked open a package sent from Nana.  Thanks for the box, Nana!  As always, the box was way more entertaining than the contents.

And the packing peanuts were quickly turned into an indoor snow storm, which I think they both preferred to the outdoor kind that is wet and cold.

All in all, a pretty wonderful day.  I'm grateful that we don't live a little further north where they've been snowed in for days.  It's nice to get a taste of it, but it's okay with me that it's all melting away in the sunshine this afternoon.

New Hobby

I've taken up a new hobby in my spare time.  HA!  That made me laugh just to type it.  No, what I really mean is...I've found a new hobby to play at while neglecting other things I should be doing.

I received a couple of beading books last year for Christmas (2009) and finally got around to trying out a few things in time for January birthdays 2011.  Whaddaya think?

Hope you like 'em, 'cause that will cure my craft craving for at least six months.

Shoe Trend

This is the latest trend in footwear at our house.  Be sure to note that daughter shoes only come in various shades of pink.

Have I mentioned lately what an awesome man I married?

It's That Time Again

Beware!  Or be joyful.  The wonderful little thin mint fairies knocked on my door this past weekend, selling their deliciously addictive wafers.  And I for one am joyful!  Nothing quite like a refrigerated box of thin mints to keep a pregnant mommy's sanity from inching too close to the point of no return.  Thank you, cookie fairies.  Come again soon!

Look Who's Two!

So, I'm a little behind with this one...what's new?  We celebrated C's second birthday two weeks ago with a double party at her cousins' house.  Grandma didn't get the pink memo or else she would blend into the decor.

Elmo was a big hit with the birthday girl.  Fortunately, he has an off button.  Nobody to blame for that one but myself.

Seems too soon, but she's definitely rounding the corner out of toddler and into preschool territory.  Her vocabulary has exploded and it has been so thrilling to listen to real conversations between my girls as they work out a conflict or make up a pretend world together.  Granted, we still have to remind her to use her words instead of resorting to tantrums.  But the words are there and coming more fluently.  The last couple of days she has been so endearing, asking "Mommy, it okay I (fill in blank with innocuous play idea) now?"  Who doesn't want to grant the every wish of a 2-year-old who asks permission to do things?  She likes to argue, too, just like big sister who is teaching her most of her words.  Getting them bundled up to go out a few days ago, I pulled a hat onto A's head only to be told by little sister, "Achooilly, Mom, that my hat."

She's taken to singing, which is always a hoot.  Her favorite tunes are from Mary Poppins.  She'll waltz around the house singing, "spoonful of sooger....medsin down, medsin dow-own, medsin go down."  Or she might wake up in her bed singing, "go fly a kite, up the height, go fly a kite soaring."  She also likes the ABC song, but insists on singing it at the top of her lungs; more of a shouting really.

I'm not impressed with the recent napping developments.  She's decided that falling asleep on her own is no fun anymore and I have to stand by her crib, hand on her back for a good ten minutes or so to get her to fall asleep for nap time.  Otherwise, she'll play for over an hour in there, talking to Elmo, kicking the walls, shouting her ABC's.  I'm of the opinion that she's too young to give up napping, but I'd be fine if she would play quietly.  I can handle an afternoon grump if I've had my nap, but keep me from my nap and we've all got problems.  I'm trying to convince us both it's a phase and we'll go back to the usual routine before baby brother arrives.

She's a real snuggle bug, always wanting snuggles when anything is wrong, or even if she's just cold.  Her "hold you, Mommy" has changed to "hold me" but the pitiful look is the same.  So sensitive to the least little reprimand...that big pouty lip makes it hard to scold her.  She loves to pray at meals and bedtime, always the same as her first prayer when I was away for an evening, "Dear God, Mommy back soon, Daddy back soon, A back soon, amen."

Two years already.  Yet, it's hard to remember life before you, baby.  May God continue to fill your heart with song, your mouth with truth and our family with your sunshine.

It's a Boy!!

Looks like I'll be taking suggestions for a new blog title.  We're adding a blue arrow to this crazy train.

We found out this morning and could barely believe it.  But pictures don't lie and this baby definitely has outdoor plumbing.

As soon as we were done with the ultrasound, J and I went over to Target to pick out a little boy outfit.  I suggested maybe a little toy, too, to show our girls.  He knew immediately which little action figures he wanted to start collecting.  Never mind that it will be three years until the baby is playing with them..."by that time, we'll have the whole set," he said.

C still doesn't really understand what's going on, but A was thrilled.  She had decided awhile back that a baby brother would be fun since we already had a sister.

God is good, all the time!

If I Had a Nickel

Have you seen this hilarious video?

I'm only four years into being a mom and already, I sooo relate.  Wish I could cash in on the following phrases I say at least eleventy-seven-thousand times a day:

• Turn your volume down.
• No taking.
• Use your words.
• Are you sharing?
• Eat.
• Choose to obey.
• Obey right away.
• I can't understand you when you whine.
• What are you supposed to be doing?
• Wait nicely.
• No fingers in noses.
• Stop picking your nails.
• Put your knees down.
• That is not a jungle gym.
• Stop stretching out your shirt/pants/socks.
• Do you have stinky pants?
• Don't bang the table!

I know the list will only change as they get older; I will always repeat myself.  But I am really ready for them to hear some of these already!!  Sheesh!

Make it Stop!

I've said for a long time that my four-year-old has the mouth of a teenager.  The sass and backtalk that she reserves for her mother keep me awake at night, scared of the potential for venomous growth by the time she is 16.  You don't believe me because she is all smiley and cute to everybody else.  I know this is my payback for all those horrible things I said when I thought my mom couldn't hear.  (I'm so, so sorry, Mom.  But please, is there any way to make it stop?)

She has mastered the art of dramatic over-generalizations.  For example, I will say, "Please put your shoes and socks on so we can leave."  To which she will reply, "Okay.  I'll put my shoes and socks on and never, ever play again for the rest of the year!"  Or I'll suggest, "Don't lean into your sister's seat like that if you don't like her smacking you in the head."  She will counter with, "Do you only always want me to sit up straight like a robot and never, ever move?!"  (To which I will answer, "yes, please" which probably doesn't help.)  Or how about, "You have lots of stuffed animals; there is no need to fight over that particular puppy dog."  "Then I'll never have a turn, and she'll always have it and I'll never see it again ever!"

I kid you not.  I have added no extra "never/ever/always/only" for effect.  I really don't know where she is getting this, but more importantly, I don't know how to make it stop.  It's constant throughout our day, so pervasive that her little sister has started mimicking her to make her angry, "never, ever," with scrunched up nose and forceful voice.  I've started asking her if she is telling the truth, speaking with respect and love.  She always answers no, but I don't know how long it's going to take to break this really nasty habit.  And what kind of consequence do you give for dramatic sarcasm?  Help, Lord Jesus, help!!

What Are You Up To, God?

There is a memorial service today for a local father of four boys ranging from age five to twelve.  I didn't know him very well, but had the opportunity to be glancing friends with his wife over the last 18 months.  She passed away three months ago.  I've been wrestling with this tragedy for the last few days, knowing God is sovereign.  Yet in my finite understanding, I can't help but ask, "Why? What?!"

To my knowledge, this couple did not have the personal relationship with God that I cherish.  It was my desire to share His love with this mom who God introduced me to.  We came from very different backgrounds, had vastly different life experiences, and as a result went about doing life in different ways.  I struggled to find common ground.  It wasn't natural, easy or comfortable.  I confess I did not pursue her the way Christ pursues me.  And I don't know what to do with that.

I don't profess to be the lynchpin that failed; I know God wasn't dependent on me.  But I think He's okay with me feeling the sting of regret.  Why do I hesitate to share the most important thing in my life?  The relationship that defines my core values and influences every decision I make?  Why do I hide my light under a bushel?  Why am I afraid that my God will offend?  Or that He cannot redeem any misrepresentations I may make?

I will pray for those boys for the rest of my life.  I think about them every night as I go to sleep and will for a very long time.  I don't know what God is up to in their lives, but they are seared into my heart.  I pray somehow they will know God's love despite their tragic childhoods, that they will be protected from the enemy who wants to use this to drive them away from their heavenly Father.  I pray God will overwhelm them with believing friends and neighbors who will share His healing love.  I pray I will see them one day in heaven and rejoice at how much greater my God is than my faith.

All Clear

I think we are safely out of the stomach bug war zone.  We sheltered in place all day Saturday and Sunday, hoping that we would contain any fallout if the rest of us were going to get sick.  So far, so good.  And praise God for that because we were getting a smidge stir crazy.

I failed to mention in my previous post how thankful I am for the heroic captain God has posted at the head of our family.  J was so awesome that night.  He came home immediately when I texted him with the crisis.  As soon as he got home, he checked on our little sickie then came to scrub the carpet with me.  He was up bringing fresh supplies every time I got up with A for the rest of the night, always compassionate and gentle.  He did all the grunt work the next day to get that bunk bed really clean, not to mention the disgusting nightmare it took to get the tub clean.  He really was our hero!

I failed to blog in a timely manner that we just celebrated our 13th anniversary at the end of December.  I'm so, so, so grateful to serve in the trenches of parenthood by your side, J.  You make it all bearable, even joyful.  I cannot fathom doing life with anyone else.  God knit us together in His perfect plan and I pray He continues to conform us more to His image every year we are together.  Love you more than much.

Not What I Had Envisioned

This time yesterday, when I was thinking through my weekend, I could not have envisioned what I've been doing.  I turned my light off last night about 10:30 pm.  J came in at 11:30 pm to tell me he was headed up to a local coffee shop to play dominoes.  Count with me...one hour of sleep.  I woke up at 12:30 am to the sound of A crying and coughing in her bed.  She runs to my room to tell me she's throwing up.  Oh, joy.  So concludes hour two of sleep.

Bless her little heart, she was so proud of herself that she only threw up on the ladder of her bunk bed.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we had sickness from a height.  That equals distance.  And contrary to her understanding, ladders do not in and of themselves contain liquids.  However, toy baby cribs situated below the ladder full of Littlest Pet Shop pets do.

It was 2am when J and I finally crawled into bed after cleaning it all up.  About 15 minutes later, she started again.  Fortunately, she was on the floor in our room in a sleeping bag and we were well-armed.  So, we rinsed and repeated for a few hours.  I was wide awake by this point and didn't drift off to sleep until sometime after 5am.  C decided to scare the living daylights out of me by waking up crying and coughing at 6am.  I ran to her room expecting the worse, but she was just ready to get out of bed.  I told her she had to stay in bed until the sun came up, sang her a song and tried to catch a few more winks.  We'll be generous and add another hour to the sleep count.

C really was done sleeping at 7am, so we got up and watched Mary Poppins.  A woke up around 8am and we started the movie over again.  Never enough Poppins.  After the movie, I thought it was a good idea for A to have a bath.  Into the tub they went.  Meanwhile, J was disassembling the top bunk so I could get at the final crevices.  We got that done and I turned to wiping down all the hard surfaces in her bedroom.  I was wiping down a drawer handle when I heard, "There's poo poo in the tub!"  I totally ignored that announcement.  J just froze.  I thought surely if I ignored it, it would cease to be true.  Not so.  I guess C was feeling left out of all the laundry and disinfecting.  Two girls out of the tub, one husband standing in dismay looking at said contaminated tub.  We both look at each other and bust out laughing till we're crying.  (As I'm typing this, he said, "You know it's been a long night when you laugh at the word 'contaminated.'")

I ushered the girls to my shower, praying that C didn't pee along her naked way.  I got to the bathroom behind them and she's standing over a puddle.  Seriously?!  I asked her if she peed on the floor and she said, "No!" like that was the most incredulous thing I could ask.  I realized she was holding a dripping rag from the bathtub and chose to believe she had wrung it out.  While we were waiting for the water to get warm, she squeezed the rag again and says, "I pee-peed again."  Oh, isn't that so funny?!  No wait, there's more...

I wash C's hair and get a big glob of shampoo in my palm to start on A when C starts making moves like she's got business to do.  I whisked her out of the shower and onto the potty and tried to convince her to finish there.  Nothing doing.  I go back to the shower only to discover that A has commandeered the hand-held shower and is creating a lake on the bathroom floor.  Will the mopping up never end?!!!

We are attempting lunch now.  Here's hoping the second half of the day stays drier than the first.